so I guess THIS is offensive now?

I had the pleasure of watching Brendon Burns perform in London last month with Josie long, Stewart Lee and Simon Amstell. Brendon headlined the night exploding onto the stage with a set that had me gasping for breath as I laughed so hard I cried. Brendon who won the famous if comedy award (previously called the Perrier award) in 2007 for the below posted show So I Suppose This Is Offensive Now will be appearing at the fringe festival on the 28th and 29th with his new show comedy good yeah silly side cunt.

so I suppose THIS is offensive now?

So continuing my mix tape series here is two that I made recently for my holiday! I have 6 days left till I fly and I am dying with fucking flu.....I have the worst luck ever.

The track list is a bit gappy as I have lost my hd with all my music on it so ID'ing the tracks in the mix is impossible if you can fill in the gaps message me!

1. The Rapture - Whoo! Alright! Yeah...uh....huh (claude vonstroke remix)
2. Rene van munster - working title
3. zomby - spliff dub (rustie remix)
4.???
5.???
6. south rawkus crew - mad again (boy 8 bit remix)
7. claude vonstroke - who's afraid of detroit (tanner ross remix)
8. ????
9. ???
10.???
11.???
12. robb g - 12 inch therapy (bass kleph dirty ows remix)
13. N.A.S.A - Whatchadoin (villains remix)
14. crookers- ???
15. hyper- no rockstars ( bass kleph remix)
16. D.I.M - You

Amixtapefor.....

Holidayin in ibiza


1. calories - A bear a bison
2. algernon cadwallader - yo soy milk
3. les savy fav - patty lee
4. death cab for cutie - crooked teeth
5. m83 - teen angst
6. cap'n jazz - we are scientist!
7. sublime - santeria
8. American football - never meant
9. native - something about swordsmanship
10. will it fly? - inemuri view
11. minus the bear - absinthe party at the fly honey warehouse
12. this town needs guns - want to come back to my room and listen to some belle and Sebastien?
13. Owen - skin and bones
14. Alexis on fire - Polaroids of polar bears
15. of sinking ships - the last signal
16. hopesfall - escape pod for intangibles
17. the postal service - we will become silhouettes
18. four tet - smile around the face
19. skream - dutch flowerz
20. cocorosie - god has a voice, she speaks through me

a mixtape for......

A complete beach experience



TOO funny! Some people got way too much time on their hands!



Here's some films I'm extremely excited about!!!!!

@ Yahoo! Video

Snowing is another new emo band that I've fallen in love with. The band features members of boy problems and street smart cyclist both of which I have previously mentioned in this blog. Check out there free diy released demo below for fans of cap'n jazz and as friends rust

SNOWING - FUCK YOUR EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT

BROOKERZZZZZZZZ

Charlie Brooker writes a review column for the Guardian, he was a writer on the amazingly brilliant paedophilia special of brasseye and then went on, along with Chris Morris, to write Nathan barley. All of this I knew however what had evaded me up until last week was his brilliantly brilliant shows screenwipe and newswipe! The fact that these shows have eluded me is probably down to me not watching bbc 4 or any TV in general for a very long time. However I still find it hard to believe that screenwipe, which has been running since 2006, has never been mentioned to me by anyone nor have I seen it reviewed on the Internet. Weird! Screenwipe, which first aired in april of 2006, is a look at all of TV. From the way it's edited to what amount of money is spent on a show to ratings to how TV is regulated. It's like a British version of pen and tellers bullshit except it just concentrates on a different area of TV each episode satirically tearing it to pieces with witty humor. Newswipe is essentially the same show except it concentrates on the UK news media. Another show worth checking out is his newest show "you have been watching" which airs Thursdays on channel 4 at 10pm.

SCREENWIPE

Series 1

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3

Series 2

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Series 3

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

Series 4

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

Series 5

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5



NEWSWIPE

Episode 1 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)
Episode 2 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)
Episode 3 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)
Episode 4 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)
Episode 5 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)
Episode 6 (pt1) (pt2) (pt3)

I've been listening to a lot of Dubstep recently mainly due to the fact it's forced on me living with an 18 year sibling going through her adolesent loud fast (or in this case slow) music phase. One of the few producers that has made me pluck my ears up with intent is bristols joker. Being an electro head myself his computer game inspired productions appeal to me the most. Here is some info on joker from a 2007 introducing review by pitchfork, below is a set he did at sonar festival this year and a mix he did for skreams stella sessions on rinse fm.

JOKER'S 2009 SONAR SET

LISTEN OUT FOR HIM DROPPING WHO'S AFRAID OF DETROIT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SET.....SICK.

SKREAMS STELLA SESSIONS

Tracklisting:

1-Natasja-ilderbrand i byen-2000F REMIX
2-Swagger-Benny Page
3-Snake Eater-Joker
4-You dont Know what love Is -2000F-JKamata
5-Solid state-Joker
6-Tempered-Rustie
7-Filth-Skream
8-Narsty Narsty Narsty-Scratcha.D.V.A
9-Get Ya Cock Out-Rusko
10-3K Lane-J@kes & Joker
11-Holly Brook Park-Joker
12-Sushi Brain-Headhunter
13-Konfusion dub-Kode9
14-Back 2 The Future-Gemmy
15-Need You-Darkstar
16-80s-Joker
17-Get up instrumental-Pinch

Talking about Claude vonstroke here is his new fabric cd! Full of wonky house techno music goodness as always! Just to reiterate I have not uploaded this album, I just found the link on another web page thnxcheersbye.

FABRIC 46 - CLAUDE VONSTROKE

"Because every little girl loves bambi"

Check out this new website entitled "Why the fuck do you have a kid?" It's full of unbelievable pictures of really bad parents. mega lolz.

Arrested development's David Cross (tobias) has written and started filming a new British TV show starring will arnett!!!!! "The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret" Has been picked up by channel 4 and is due to air in December! Written by Cross and English actor/comedian/writer Shaun Pye, 'Todd Margaret' is culture-clash comedy which centers on a U.S. executive protagonist who is mistakenly sent to Britain to run the company’s UK division and finds himself in over his head. The Russo Brothers, who helmed many episodes of "Arrested Development," directed the show's pilot which co-stars Cross himself, Amber Tamblyn, Sharon Horgan and Russell Tovey.

Apparently wild monkeys in India have gotten to be such a huge problem that the Indian government has suggested putting the most badly behaved monkeys into a behaviour school! I'm not sure if this is a joke or what? Surely they can't be serious?

"The problem of rogue monkeys is particularly severe in towns close to India's north-western border with Pakistan. Officials accuse them of a variety of bad behaviour from terrorising children, snatching food from people and destroying property... The proposed new monkey school will take in the "worst offenders" and put them through a crash course in good manners."

Indian school for monkeys!!!!!

Nailing descartes to the blog.....

Next month I will be partaking in the mass exodus of Britain that happens every summer commonly referred to by the average British proletariat as "Going on my summer holz". Although it makes no sense (at all!) To leave the country the only time of year when we get anything remotely like nice weather, I've booked a flight out of this bitch. So in preparation for lying on a beach while I drink alcohol poison inducing cocktails and cook till my imminent melanoma is actually audible, I decided a trip to the book shop was essential. Upon arriving I headed straight for the philosophy section intent on buying a book by the modern philosopher, Simon Critchley, who is featured in this months vice. Unfortunately they only had really really expensive Critchly hardbacks so I ended up buying some other philosophy books including Descartes most key writings for £3.99! One of the books, The Consolations of Philosophy, I noticed had been turned into a TV series a few years back for Channel 4, so not wanting to go over board on the book buying I decided to go home and look for the T.V. series. Well I found it and watched all 6 episodes last night and fuck me they're awesome! I strongly recommend you watch this entire series. It is full of extremely clever ideas about love/self esteem/ happiness/anger from some of the worlds brightest philosophers cleverly delivered by Alain De Botton author of the book. I seriously cannot recommend it enough.

1. Socrates on Self-Confidence

"One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do an injustice; and it is not right to return an injury, or to do evil to any man, however much we have suffered from him."

"The unexamined life is not worth living."

02. Epicurus on Happiness

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."

03. Seneca on Anger

"Dangerous is wrath concealed. Hatred proclaimed doth lose its chance of wreaking vengeance."

"To be always fortunate, and to pass through life with a soul that has never known sorrow, is to be ignorant of one half of nature."

04. Montaigne on Self-Esteem

"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."

"Ignorance is the softest pillow on which a man can rest his head. "




05. Schopenhauer on Love

"Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people."

"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death."




06. Nietzsche on Hardship

" Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity. "

" Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at us, conclusions grow up in us like fungus: one morning they are there, we know not how, and they gaze upon us, morose and gray. Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him. "

I've decided to start a mixtape series! The series is called "a Mixtape for....." and will feature collections of songs for various situations. Hope you enjoy the first two....


01. Good clean fun - You gotta stay positive
02. Good clean fun - On the streets saving the scene
03. The Descendents - Coffee mug
04. Have heart - The unbreakable
05. Every time I die - Romeo a go-go
06. The Dillinger escape plan - We are the storm
07. The Hope conspiracy - Bled across the wire
08. The Number twelve looks like you - Blue dress
09. Glassjaw - Love bites and razor lines
10. Drowning man - The Unbearable burden of always being right
11. The Fall of troy - F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X.
12 Hopesfall - The Bending

A mixtape for.......
STOPPING YOU FROM
FALLING ASLEEP, BEHIND THE WHEEL.
(Dedicated to Ceri)


01. Thursday - For the workforce, drowning.
02. Pretty girls make graves - Modern day Emma Goldman
03. Thrice - The Artist in the ambulance
04. Rise against - Heaven knows
05. Saves the day - You vandal
06. Rancid - Olympia Wa.
07. Propagandhi - Ska sucks
08. Me without you - January 1979
09. Minus the bear - Hey is that a ninja up there?
10. Tubelord - Night of the pencils
11. Hot club de paris - Let go of everything
12. Sublime - What I got
13. The Pharcyde - Drop

A mixtape for.......
SIPPING BEERS AT A BBQ

THE LONG WAIT IS OVER!
7 years, 5 albums 2 e.p's and 4 vinyl after the forming of the band, Math-core heavy weights the number 12 looks like you finally tour the U.K. in support of their newest album worse than alone. I'm not really that into their recent release so I'm hoping to god they play old songs! Which they fucking should do seeing as they've never been over before!

20/09/09 - Southhampton Joiners
21/09/09 - Newport TJ's
22/09/09 - Sheffield coporation
23/09/09 - Peterborough the met lounge
24/09/09 - Glasgow ivory blacks
25/09/09 - Aberdeen korova
26/09/09 - Leeds josephs well
27/09/09 - Manchester moho live
28/09/09 - Plymouth white rabbit
29/09/09 - Nottingham rock city
30/09/09 - London underworld

CLASSIC CLASSIC ALBUM

The number twelve looks like you - Put on your rosy red glasses




For ages vice has been getting worse and worse as most of their best writers have anticipated the wandering fickle attention spans of hipsters everywhere and jumped ship. Gavin Haynes however is still great and his most recent article interviewing girls who support the BNP party is pure fucking gold, check it out here read the comments at the bottom as well funny shit!



A while back I mentioned that I had engineered an awesome band in work called will it fly? Well I finally managed to get my hands on two tracks off their forth coming E.P! The untitled E.P is set to be released this september and will feature 6 songs. Anyone who likes the style of the bands I blog about will definitely like these guys. I intend on putting on a show in the near future for these guys and another couple of awesome bands (Rico and the thieves check them out!) so when I get around to organising it I'll keep you updated! For fans of minus the bear American football and texas is the reason.

Will it fly? - Inemuri view

Will it fly? - The coin has spoken

It began as a mistake.....

I've been reading a lot of Bukowski recently so I thought I'd post up an incredible documentary on the man himself. Charles Bukowski's work is raw and brutally honest. As in comedy the best jokes are reality based, his story's are so fucking good because they scream sincerity, an attribute bukowski learned at a young age from his father who beat him every single day up until the age of 12. He often stated that his "horror show" childhood made him a very blunt honest man, this allowed him to write without worrying about how his poetry should look or what other writers were writing. As he put it "as the spirit wanes, the form appears" meaning poets with no soul would resort to form to mask their lack of spirit. The same applies to all art forms especially music, too many bands/musicians are concerned with sticking to a specific genre and worrying about what their target audience would like to hear instead of just fucking putting their heart into it and writing songs that have some fucking emotion to them.......fuck I'm starting to sound preachy. Anyway I think this poem of his sums it up pretty nicely //

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art.

CHARLES BUKOWSKI - BORN INTO THIS {edit } It's fucking been taken down! I'll upload it and post it in a bit.


First, pop punk legends, the get up kids reform and announce a fucking UK tour and now sunny day real estate announce their comeback with a string of us tour dates! Surely it's not asking too much for an at the drive in reunion? please?



Koen demuynck is one AD man that even bill hicks would have to agree is truly amazing or as he would probably put it, worthy of being alive! Belgian born koen creatively blends beautiful surrealistic imagery into his design work making him unique and extremely sought after in the advertisement world.

What an idiot.

"Kimberly Vlaeminck, 18, made headlines when she claimed last week to have woken up from a tattoo session with 56 stars on her face. She said she had asked for just three small ones. Turns out though, Vlaeminck was lying. From the Sydney Morning Herald:

"I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and that the tattooist had made a mistake," Ms Vlaeminck told Dutch TV.

(Tattoo artist Rouslan) Toumaniantz - who is covered in tattoos and piercings - had insisted Vlaeminck wanted 56 stars tattooed on her face.

But he had said he would pay for half of the laser treatment to remove the tattoos, The Telegraph said.

"Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client," Mr Toumaniantz said.

But after Ms Vlaeminck's confession he had withdrawn the offer, The Telegraph said.





On the Might of Princes were a highly underrated post-hardcore/proto-screamo act from Long Island. In their short lived time together they released 3 full-lengths including a release with revelation records. Seriously if you like early hopesfall or hot cross or any bands in the early screamo vein YOU NEED TO HAVE THIS RECORD!! I'm not even kidding! This is their first record and it's absolutely mind fucking whore blowing good.

On the might of princes - where you are and where you want to be

Faces of wank

New york based video artist Robbie Cooper first made a name for himself back in 2004 with a project called alter ego. The former photojournalist's project was basically photos of online gamers next to pictures of their virtual reality characters and explanations as to why they chose their characters, in an attempt to find out if peoples real lives, echoed their virtual reality lives. He has now started a new project entitled immersion, in which cooper plans to film hundreds of people as they immerse themselves in different types of media (films, video games, tv programs). The first set of pictures in the series, released in November, was of kids as they played different video games, those pictures can be found here. More interestingly though his most recent film in the series is of 3 girls and 3 guys discussing their relationship with porn and capturing some truly weird video/stills of humans at their most vulnerable of times.............in case you missed that this guy filmed these people's facial expressions whilst they fucked themselves in HD aaaaand.......put it on the Internet! You brave brave people.






Cursive have a new video for their song I couldn't love you check it out!

GOOD FRIENDS WITH BAD HABITS

good friends with bad habits,
what am I to do?
they're literary romantics,
they fuck like Wilde,
and indulge like Hemingway.

I've good friends with bad habits
and a tendency towards negligence.
just petty thieves and addicts,
that don't hurt anyone
but they'll burn anyway.

well sometimes,
like every time
a train passes,
i get jealous of the long nights,
and blurred lights,
the red eyes,
the bar fights.
where in the hell am i?
and how did i get here?
and which way to the nearest train?

well sometimes,
like every time she breathes,
i embrace my routine.

I've good friends with bad habits.
what am i to do?
they're literary romantics,
they'll fuck like Wilde,
and die like Hemingway.

This is beginning to become a kinsella worship blog........They are modern day geniuses though!


OWEN - GOOD FRIENDS WITH BAD HABITS




Eugene mirman funny funny guy!





Gregory Crewdson is an American photographer who takes surreal stepford wives esq photos of American homes and neighbourhoods. Crewdson, who as a teenager was a member of the new york punk band the speedies, has been taking photos since the 80's and has taught photography at many U.S. universities. His pictures appeals to me a lot because of the dark surrealistic nature of his scenes, you can definitely see his influence in my previously featured artists alex prager and fellow New Yorker lyndon wades work.

boy problems

Uh-oh someone tipped a whole load of emo into philadelphias reservoir and the natives have been churning out some sweet sweet music. Check out all these bands below! Most have split up already and most of the bands are the same guys in different bands but still check them out!

boy problems myspace

boy problems - I swallowed a bug

street smart cyclist myspace

Street smart cyclist - hoods up!

snowing myspace

snowing - methuselah rookie card


algernon cadwallader myspace

I know I blogged about these guys last post but I seriously cannot stress how much these guys fucking own!

algernon cadwallader - casual discussion in a dome between two temples

Subpop are giving away a free digital sampler featuring handsome furs, iron and wine, pissed jeans and flight of the conchords! Get it here.

Please please please pray to santa, god, the easter bunny, moses, allah and all the other fictional characters you can think of for this to happen. It will make my existence!